The insurgency

I think in my life there are two battles that have tried to break me: One a battle for my love, or rather to know, not just intellectually but to the depths that I am loved by God. And two, where does my identity rest, or in whom does it rest.

The second one is huge for me, and maybe for others as well. I get encouragement, and then I experience rejection, an unmet expectation, or a failure and I so easily forget. Sitting at Deidrichs a few years back I was praying and journaling and I wrote something that I reread this evening:

No one's perception of you can alter the truth about who you are, or diminish the work that was birthed in you from the beginning. The truth is steadfast, the truth cannot be broken in two, it cannot be blown away. You have been sealed and annointed for a good work. Those that have spoken falsely over, that have spoken words of doubt. Those words fall to the ground today because I have spoken life over you, My precious promises to give you a hope and a future.

There will always be an insurgency to challenge my hold on the truth. I'm starting to see that nothing I can do or be in this life will truely validate me as a woman, or a human being. Those are all broken cisterns that as I attempt to drink from them, will just keep me frustrated and discouraged.

But I can be His. I can love God, and love people. And, I can try to do that every day.