The man looked down at me from where I was sitting at the lunch table, or rather he was carefully studying my left ring finger which indeed, has no ring on it. He suggested a huge church in Virginia, where there were a lot of singles. “Uh huh.” I replied. This man just came into our office and descended upon me and my chicken salad and started giving me advice in an indirect way about finding a husband.
Oh and this is not the first time in the last few months a conversation like this has occurred.
I was on the phone at work with a man who does ministry all over the world, and I wanted to partner with him on a project we are working on in North Africa. In our conversation there was mention of travels to North Africa in September. “Are you single??????” he asked, almost in a gasp. “In fact, I am,” I replied. He then asks me how old I am and in his most loving fatherly way mentioned that he will be praying for me.
For goodness gracious sakes.
Well, that’s a good thing, because I am sure that God is totally unaware of this fact and He is now scrambling around heaven trying desperately to figure how to “fix me”. We can all relax, because God has officially now been notified.
I have never written about this subject before on my blog, and don’t get used to it, because I probably will not again. I don’t think I have even written about it privately in great abundance. But it seems to be a hot topic lately, especially when people are talking to me.
So here goes. Singleness: Do we just live with it, or is it a good place to live?
I believe that God knows what He is doing. More than that, I believe He is confident that He is doing a bang up job with things, including how my life is turning out. So, I’m doing my best in not always questioning Him on why He has chosen a different path for me, when the majority of my friends are married and are on their second or dare I say it third kid.
Our nature wants to compare, and I see my friends and I wonder if and when I will get to that stage in life. Maybe never. There is a part of me that considers the idea of never having a family. Yeah, my heart hurts a bit at the thought of not having children, but then I also see all the incredible opportunities I have experienced that would not have happened if I was having to think of someone else.
I spent the first year of this century in Southern China. I have had some of the greatest people around as roommates, and have learned amazing things from each one of them. I have taken more walks with God down Wilton street in Houston than anyone should ever have the privilege of experiencing. When I lived by myself in a small, yellow garage apartment near Rice U, my time with the Lord was so rich, that I couldn’t wait to get off work so I could go home and just hang out. I would never trade those years. Not for all the tea in China or a guy that closely resembles Joaquin Phoenix. Nope, sorry not even for Joaquin Phoenix.
To live is Christ is it not? My life is not my own. My desire is to live in my own skin, in whatever circumstance He sends my way and embody the fullest joy possible. I am definitely not saying I am always successful. I am also not saying that I do not desire marriage, because I certainly do. But I love my life right now, and I do not want to have the perspective of "surviving" the seasons of singleness like it was a disease that someday if I’m real good I will be cured…
Today this is what He has for me, and today it is a good place to live.
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9 comments:
You make me laugh. This is a great blog! I am so encouraged by it. Love ya.
I am also relieved to hear that God isn't up there scrambling to find someone for me too. :)
love you too. oh my gosh He never scrambles, God is much to composed for that :) and all knowing too. that helps.
You are so incredibly wise. And I see your perspective so changed since years past. I'm proud of you. (BTW, I was burdened when I saw you don't want kids on your myspace profile!) I think that I am so favored of the Lord to have a friend like you! I have something to send to you (a CD message). I believe that so many people see your beauty and your value so quickly and easily that they can't understand why you haven't been snatched up. But you are a treasure, nonetheless, daily blessing the Lord. I think it's encouraging that other men can see your value. Just know that the Lord is PLEASED with how you serve Him -- TODAY. (And yes, with kids, you wouldn't have had the free life and enriching time with the Lord. I've often been jealous of all the extra personal years you've had!) :)
A' - duh i want kiddoes!!!! i got a "sign in" for the myspace thing just to chat with my friends from college, who like myspace, so i never bothered to fill out the profile. what is it with myspace anyway?? it's like people just want to be your friend so they can have alot of "friends" on their site. i don't understand the big draw. i think it's dying though. time to move on A' and get another blog :)
join "eunuchs for yeshua". . .not only am i a member, but i'm president!
lol - yeah eunuchs... maybe i will be the first protestant nun :)
i think people bug women about this way more than they do guys. that or i just ignore a lot of people. one is just as likely as the other.
This woman is my friend!!! Amen, my sister, Amen! Preach it!!! Why can't I find the wit that you have when everyone and their dog (cat, cow, and rattlesnake) here in West Texas and abroad ask the same question of my own singleness. It isn't the plague...nor is it a horrific tragedy to be 30 and single. Your blog, Jen, clarifies many of those random thoughts that I've often thought of myself. Thanks once again, Sister Jen D of the Holy Convent of Singleness. May your Gregorian chants resume...
darrin - hey man - let's not get carried away with the holy convent thing. but it is what it is and that's all i'm gonna say about it. :)
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