Young at heart

Sweet, well meaning intern: So, how old are you anyway Jen?
Me: Older than you
Sweet well meaning intern: How old is that?
Me: 29, months away from the big 3-0
Sweet well meaning intern: Ah.. well... Well, at least you are young at heart
Me: (Laughing hard now) yeah, at least i have that....

Jen's World

You know, we all have our little quirks (except for all you normal people out there), those things that friends or family might dig you about, or that you would secretly like to change about yourself. The last few years, it has been called to my attention that I day dream.

A lot.

So, growing up I was shy, painfully so in fact. Sometimes my daydreaming, Jen’s World as I like to call it was much safer than the real world of people. And, let’s face it, I had some fun there. Jen’s World is an interesting place and if you ever had a chance to go, I think you would find all kinds of cool stuff to do and see. You might even want to frequent there often, just as I had over the years.

But, the powers that be (Jesus) seemed insistent on busting through my little inner world. I became a Christian, and slowly… slowly, I started coming out of my shell. And when I mean slow, I mean it has been a journey to realize the real world is sketchy and a risk, but the other reality is that I love people and I want to know them regardless…. So I began to step out there, and began to believe that I can be myself with others. That the person who is uniquely me is actually a good thing.

Old habits die hard, and from time to time, I take small fleeting trips, and during situations that are inappropriate. For instance, just a few weeks ago I had coffee with two people, one that I had just met and the other a perfect stranger. One of them asked me a question and I had completely checked out. Oh yeah, you guessed it. I was in Jen’s world and was incredibly embarrassed that it was happening, that he had been talking to me and I was in the coffee shop no longer. I responded by laughing, but didn’t bother to explain. Jen’s world may have been too much for these folks. I didn’t want to overwhelm them.

At any rate, I’m trying to reserve this favorite place for quiet times alone or on the train, but it takes time people. Mel – I am talking to you when I say this, I really am trying!! I am becoming a new woman every day, one that is less and less dependant on a world that used to bring a whole lot of security…

Everything's not lost

This afternoon, I was on the phone with my friend Lisa. She was humming a Coldplay song that i had been singing today:

Me: Were you just singing Cold..
Lisa: Oh yeah, i played it all day long today
Me: So did I over and over, that same song!
Lisa: Yeah, crazy
Me: Wow
Lisa: Yeah....

I was a bit frustrated today with work and what is going on there. I am enjoying it, but there are days like everyone else, where I feel like i wonder if i am doing any good here. When you begin any work, or at least with me, i want that endeavor to be successful, i want to be a success. Duh, i sure don't want to fail at it. I, like many others fall into that trap of, I have to do so i can be something. I have to look this way in order to be seen as... you get the picture. In this town, i see how ambitious people are, how they are trying to scramble up to the top, this all consuming drive...and it makes me sad.

Then i was reminded of a conversation i had with a friend of mine back in H Town. I was taking him to the airport, and i started asking him about the year before when he had been so sick he almost died. In fact, we were praying for him fervently, but were starting to wonder if he was going to meet Jesus before any of us.. He has a condition that affects him in a way that at his worst, he couldn't move any part of his body, he couldn't talk, and he couldn't even breathe on his own.

I asked him on that ride to the airport how God encouraged him, expecting to hear something crazy, like God showing up in this huge vision comforting him, something huge...

"Nah, He didn't do that Jen."

Oh.

But, God did remind my friend of one thing, just one thing: "You will always be more important to Me than what you do...."

Enough said..

Matthew

My brother at his second triatholon,
the biking arm of the race. Nearly finished
at the top of his division!! Strong work!!

My hood

I think the resturaunts alone on my
block reflect the diversity of my neck
of the woods in the D.C. area...

Amazing

I met an amazing woman today.

Part of my job is to network with Christians that are serving in some of the most persecuted places in the world. I met this woman because she works in one of the countries I cover. She met me at the metro and when she saw me she came over to greet me, not with a handshake but with an embrace. I think I can't count on my one hand how many times I have been hugged up here. No body hugs on the East Coast, i'm not sure what it is. So right off, I knew I was going to like her.

We had lunch, and she told me about her life, how she endured one tyrannical regime in her twenties and now her own homeland is under a great deal of oppression. She has dealt with being separated from her husband. She has seen her own people starved, beaten, and put into tiny holding cells at extreme temperatures. She has seen so much but there is such a joy and a pure love that came from her, that I can not give justice to it in my own words.

I wonder in our own country, where we sometimes think about freedom with about as much intensity as we did our last meal, could we stand so strong in the face of hardship? And could we emanate the kind of love I felt coming from this woman?

See how her garden grows

My garden is growing!!












This video is especially for my dad. Hope you and mom are having a great
time visiting family in Texas and Oklahoma.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4233954898569420830